Monday, September 21, 2009

I'm Going to Miss My Kids!!

As expected we are busy counting down the days until we can fly to China!! I really can not believe that it is finally our turn to go. I have followed so many of your journeys and "walked" them with you...I really can not believe that I am the one leaving soon!! It is all so unbelievable and surreal.

I am also so in awe of the way God has had His hand in this entire adoption. Never in my life could I sit here knowing that I would be getting on a plane in 31 days and have no fear. I hate to fly!! Did I say hate?!? NO...I HATE to fly!! The fact that I can sit here and have absolutely no care in the world about getting on that plane just amazes me.

Maybe it is because I am going to be getting on the plane to go and get my baby girl? I'm sure that is part of it, because I know that I would do anything for my children. But I also know that without a doubt it is God.

From the moment I said "yes" in obedience to adoption there has been no fear of the flights. Well, besides a momentary thought, to which I quickly have gone onto something else. My fear has never been of dying. My fear is for my children I would be leaving behind...well, and honestly, that would not be the way I would pick to leave this earth.

I love my babies to pieces and I have seen to many of my friends loose their husbands and watch what their children have gone through. I would never want for my children to loose either of us, much less both of us at the same time. So my thinking (that which brings me peace) is that my children are not my own, they belong only to Him. He knows what is best for them and us as a family. I have complete peace about Him watching over them (with the help of my parents) while we are gone. I am praying now that God will give my children that peace as we prepare for our trip.

We have never been away from them for so long before. Seventeen days is a very LONG time for me!! I know that I am going to miss them terribly!


TanyaLea said...

I'm sure it will be tough being away from your children...but your reunion will be sweet!! :) Know that you are not going on this journey alone. That so many of us are going with you in thought and prayer, and we will lift up all of your family as you are away. I can't wait to see your precious daughter in your arms and how 'complete' your family will be when she is finally HOME! :) So very excited for you! God is GOOD!! <><


Debbie said...

As I'm praying for your safety during your travels, I will also pray for your kids as they stay home with grandparents. I pray the 17 days will go by fast for you so you can get home to your babies.
I will also be in the same situation soon and I'm also very nervous about leaving my girls. We've never left them before either and this will be hard. But I know that they will be fine, God will protect them when we're gone. And He will protect your children too.
Praying for you and counting down with you to travel. :-) Love & Hugs...Debbie