I have learned a lot about myself throughout this adoption process. Mostly, I have learned that I am a new person every time I follow God's lead and I am obedient to His direction. I can look back and say that I am not who I was two years ago. God has opened my heart to what my life is truly suppose to be about. My purpose for the rest of my life will be to advocate for the orphans of this world. I am at a place in my life that I love (for I have felt the Heart of God) and I never want to go back!
Music has a significant role in my life. I find that there are songs that I can sing that say exactly what I wanted to say, but I could not find the words for. This is especially true with my favorite song which is sung by Matthew West. His song seems to be coming straight from my heart. His song entitled "the Motions" is absolutely where I am living right now.
The following lyrics are words that I feel we all need to hear, but not to just listen to with our ears...listen to them with your heart.
This might hurt, it's not safe, but I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break, at least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough. Help me fight through the nothingness of life
I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything, instead of going through the motions?"
No regrets, not this time I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole. I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough. Help me fight through the nothingness of this life
Take me all the way.
I know I'm finally feeling something real.
Because of this adoption and because this song has pushed me to do more with my life I have had the honor of starting an orphan care ministry at my church. It is already bigger than I can believe and I just presented it a couple of weeks ago. When you let God lead, He can take off with what He has asked you to step up to the plate for. Like the song says, "This might hurt". I am so out of my box with this ministry. I really enjoyed my role of stay-at-home mom with my four kids, minding my own business, volunteering where needed. But my God said, "That's not enough." And it's truly not. We need to get to the end of our lives feeling like we have really lived life to the fullest. We can not let fear stand in our way. And we definitely can not keep saying that "I will do it after...." After may never come. What if life was to end next year, next month, next week? Most of us would live differently than we have been, and that is where we lose out. You will experience more joy if you are living life to the fullest. God will lead you, you just have to be brave enough to step out of the box with a little bit of faith. He will do the rest...I promise!
Please watch this video of Matthew West's "The Motions". I pray that it will move your heart the way that it moved mine.