Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Waiting For Travel Approval

Last week was a great week because everyone ahead of us waiting for Travel Approval actually got theirs.  So we are NEXT!!  I am really hoping that we will be getting the call this week letting us know that our TA has arrived.

When we get the call we will be letting our agency know that we want to leave on December 31st.  Your trip is based on your Consulate Appointment and all of the Consulate Appointments that we would have taken to go before Christmas have been filled up.  That is why we are asking for a later trip.  We do not want to be gone so close to Christmas and leave our other children at home.  We will be leaving the first available day that we can after Christmas, and that just happens to fall on December 31st.

It will be very hard to not have Makinley home for Christmas.  Especially with us travelling so soon after for her.  I just want to touch this little girl so bad that it hurts.  I want to hear her voice and see her smile.  I want to know her cry and be there to comfort her.  I want to rock her to sleep and tell her how much I love her.  I want to see her interact with her Daddy and siblings when we get home.  I just want to know who she is.

My mind has a very hard time wrapping around the fact that my baby will be three years old and I know nothing about her.  What she likes.  What she dislikes.  What makes her happy.  What makes her sad.  How she goes to sleep at night.  What foods she enjoys.  How she plays with other children...etc.  These things CONSTANTLY roll through my mind EVERY....SINGLE...DAY.  There is not an hour in the day that my thoughts do not turn to this sweet little girl.  I've said it before, I do not know how you can love some one so much and you have never even met them.  God is so amazing that way.  He opens your heart to a love that you could never fathom obtaining on your own.  A bond of the heart.  My heart is definitely locked to this child.  The same way it was when I had not yet met our Ashlyn.  I am always wanting to know what she is doing.  I almost automatically look at the time to figure out what time it is in China.  Being 12 hours different, she is almost always sleeping when I check the clock and I just pray over her as I envision her sleeping in her crib in an orphanage half way around the world.


Vicky said...

Gretchen I pray your TA comes this week! It is amazing how God knits our hearts long before we really know our children! I am constantly looking at the time and thinking about what my girls might be doing! I can't wait to see Makinley in your arms.

Debbie Sauer said...

I hope to relay to Gracie someday, how much we loved her before we even saw her picture. It is just amazing the amount of love we have for these little girls. Can't wait for you to get traveling. Blessings, Debbie