.......Sigh............

That is just how I feel today.  It is also raining and gloomy looking outside....to match my mood.....sigh...

Today is day 41 of our wait for LOA (Letter of Acceptance) and do not get me wrong, I know that is not a long time, it just 'feels' really long today.  The wait right now for where I am is 49 days.  Not getting my hopes up though because there are still a lot of people ahead of me waiting for theirs.  It also probably would not bother me if I didn't know that there was a deadline for getting her home before Christmas.  We are coming dangerously close to that line. Feels like de ja vu from Ashlyn's adoption...and we missed the deadline and had to go a month later than we should have.  Same scenario here.

I also know that God's timing is best.  I just REALLY wish that He would let me know when that was.  If he tells me that it is going to be later I would be ok.  I could prepare.  I know it sounds silly.  Why don't I just plan for the latter and if it comes sooner..Yay!!  I would love to do that, but my Momma's heart can not let go of the hope.  So I just torment myself.

My heart has also been hurting for the people that have waited way too long for their LOA.  One is at 125 days!!  We waited 107 for Ashlyn's and that was way too long!  I know how they feel...totally defeated.  They want so much to go and bring their babies home.  I do want them to get theirs before I get mine.  I have waited before, I can wait again.

I just need to focus on the fact that in 5 months Makinley will be at home with us, where she belongs.