Random Thoughts

No updates.  We are just in "wait mode" for the next couple of months.  If we can get our LOA (letter of acceptance) by my birthday (beginning of September), we still have a shot of making it this year to get our baby girl.  It would take a miracle because that would be less than two months of waiting for LOA and the trend is longer than that right now.  But I know God can do miracles....we will see if that is His will.

Feeling a bit somber the past few days.

Yesterday was Ashlyn's birthday and as the party was winding down my thoughts were shifting to her birth mother.  Was she thinking of Ashlyn?  Was she wondering what ever happened to the baby that she left on the hospital steps so that she could get medical attention?  She could not care for her.  She could not feed her.  Does God give her a peace that her baby is being cared for?  I hope so.  I pray that her birth mother has a peace that the baby she left four years ago did make it and is thriving.  I know that every abandonment story is completely different.  I am not trying to say that every birth mother gave up her child in love.  I know some do, but I also know that some do not.  We have purposed to only give our daughter information that we know to be true when she comes to us later in life with questions.  We do not want to presume anything.  It is not our story.  However, in Ashlyn's case there are specific things that we do know.  We will be able to share precious information (as little as it may be) with our daughter and then she can fill in her own blanks with what she feels is right.

Makinley has been in my thoughts constantly this week.  I have had vivid dreams with her in them multiple times this week.  I am not a dreamer and even when I do dream I tend to not be able to recall them.  Every dream is about me going to get Makinley, but they are all different.  There is a common thread though.  She totally accepts me in each of them.  Weird, because I watch her in videos and think that she will have a hard time adjusting to strangers.  She doesn't seem to like them very much (gives me a giggle at how she has responded to friends who have tried to get pictures for me).

Anyways, China seems to be tugging at my heart more than usual lately.  I pray for many things, but especially for us to be able to get our baby girl soon.  I can not wait to get back to China.